Gill sent me this survey a few weeks ago.... my score of 44/80 would suggest the answer is "very". As someone who's been sceptical that there even is such a thing as "Englishness" (as distinct from "Britishness"), I found this very reassuring.
Have you ever...
- ✓Eaten fish and chips by the seaside?
- ✓Taken teabags with you on holiday?
- ✓Watched a rugby match?
- ✓Watched a cricket match?
- ✓Got drunk and fallen asleep whilst watching a cricket match?
- ✓Got sunburnt on the very first day the sun comes out?
- ✓Been to a Wetherspoon’s?
- ✓Met one of the royal family?
- Met the queen?
- Been asked by an American tourist whether you’ve met the queen?
- Owned an England football shirt?
- ✓Owned an England rugby shirt?
- ✓Been to a village fete?
- ✓Used the word “jolly”?
- ✓Argued about the correct pronunciation of the word “scone”?
- ✓Argued about the correct pronunciation of the word “bath”?
- Been to a pub called The Red Lion whilst on holiday in Europe?
- ✓Silently judged anyone who puts sugar in their tea?
- Complained about David Cameron?
- ✓Complained about Ed Miliband?
- ✓Wondered who Nick Clegg was?
- ✓Cried as a result of a failed penalty shootout?
- ✓Spent an entire Bank Holiday Monday in the pub?
- Entered into a giant vegetable competition?
- ✓Complained about London?
- ✓Quoted Shakespeare?
- ✓Quote Churchill?
- ✓Eaten a crumpet?
- ✓Been to a castle?
- Been able to trace your family back to the aristocracy?
- Moaned about the queen?
- ✓Defended the queen?
- ✓Apologized when something isn’t your fault?
- Got sunburnt and used an umbrella on the same day?
- Played a bad guy in an Hollywood action movie?
- ✓Judged someone for drinking lager whilst you drink a pint of ale?
- ✓Said “thank you” when it really wasn’t necessary?
- ✓Eaten a full English breakfast?
- ✓Eaten a Sunday roast?
- ✓Put gravy on your chips?
- ✓Bought Cadbury’s chocolate whilst on holiday to see if it tastes the same?
- ✓Had an opinion on whether a Jaffa Cake is a biscuit or a cake?
- Divided seasons by whether it was time to drink Pimm’s or not?
- Shouted “Come on, Tim!” in earnest?
- ✓Shouted “Come on, Tim!” in jest?
- Moaned about people shouting “Come on, Tim!” in jest?
- Tutted at someone?
- Judged someone for putting cream on their scone before the jam?
- Fallen out of love with someone because they made tea incorrectly?
- ✓Been able to ask for “the usual” in a pub?
- ✓Moaned about the Daily Mail?
- Read the Daily Mail’s Sidebar of Shame?
- ✓Made a passive-aggressive comment at someone who’s pushed in in front of you in a queue?
- Worn a knotted hankie as a hat on the beach?
- Had a tankard with your name on it in your local pub?
- ✓Morris danced (or similar)?
- ✓Called a fiver “five of your English pounds”?
- Asked for chips in an Indian restaurant?
- Thrown a piece of white plastic patio furniture at the window of a bar in a Mediterranean town?
- ✓Claimed that you love Marmite?
- Claimed that you hate Marmite?
- Thought about who your favourite member of Ant and Dec was?
- Thought about who your favourite Chuckle Brother was?
- ✓Sung “Jerusalem” whilst drunk?
- ✓Gone to a non-English-speaking country and communicated by using the shouting and pointing technique?
- Danced around in the mud at a music festival?
- ✓Had a barbecue in the rain?
- ✓Listened to Test Match Special?
- Listened to The Archers?
- ✓Felt a little sick whenever your see “colour” spelt “color”?
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